Balance

Balance is important, but for me, difficult to achieve!  Right now I am trying to balance the needs of my son, with my desire to be accommodating.  I want to fight for my son and make sure that his needs are met, but i also know that teachers have much to do.  How do I ask for what my son needs without adding to that burden?  Do I put out my mind all of the challenges that I know the teachers are facing, and strictly fight for what my son needs?   We will be meeting an administrator at school as well as his teachers to discuss a 504 plan.  This is something that I really haven't wanted to do, and up til this year, it has been unnecessary.  However, he has been having more problems during the school day and one of the teachers has been less than accommodating.  I am not sure if that is really true.  it may be that she just doesn't understand the situation and although we have had some conversations, perhaps it still hasn't been communicated well.  Hopefully the meeting will go well and we can all come to a better understanding and work together on a plan that will be improve the current situation.

Thankful to be Mom

We've all heard the saying, a picture is worth 1,000 words.  Because I am very wordy, I often have ten times that number!  With that in mind, I wanted to share some of my thoughts upon getting the mother and son pictures back from our family photo shoot.  

I am so very thankful to be a mother! For the last year, I have had the opportunity to be a stay at home mom, and it has been incredible, easily the best and most rewarding job I have ever had though it was not an easy decision or transition.  

I had wanted to be a stay at home mother and we had prayed for that opportunity since the time that our son was born.  However, with his medical challenges, it was necessary for me to continue working for the insurance.  In many ways, my career was a huge blessing because I was able to earn an income, provide insurance for our family, and I also had a large amount of leave so I could be there for doctor appointments, field trips, sick days, and vacation days.  Plus, I was very good at my job (any co-workers reading may feel free to disagree!).  I received promotions, bonuses, and friendships.  I met incredible people who influenced my life and family, and I am forever grateful for those relationships.  

Being good at my job and not being able to have more children, however, was quite emotional.  I started to believe that perhaps I was not a very good mother.  Perhaps I was not meant to stay at home because I would be terrible in that capacity. My heart broke as I continued to work.

Then it happened.  I had to leave my job because David received a job offer that took us closer to family.  We moved back across the country and once we arrived I started applying for jobs.  We had prayed for over 8 years that I would get to stay home, and now I was praying that I would be able to find a job.  I had interviews immediately and as I spoke with prospective employers, difficulties began to arise.  I would have to arrange before and after school care which was not an issue before.  I would not be available to help if our son had problems with his medical condition or to attend school programs and field trips.  As we were praying to be able to find the right opportunities, the reminder came that we had been praying for me to be able to be a stay at home mom.  That was the answer!  I was nervous because of a couple years I had been having those thoughts that I wasn't good enough for such a position.  Would I be able to cut it?  What would I do with all the time that the boy is at school?

Fast forward to one year later.  It has been amazing!  I love being a mom.  I have loved volunteering in the classroom.  I have loved that my relationship with my son has has grown.  I am not perfect, but I never was.  I love being mom and I am so thankful for this opportunity to be at home while my son is young.  I am thankful for my husband who has taken on the stress of providing for us financially.  He is an incredible man, and I am so blessed to be his wife.  

Pictures

We recently had our family pictures taken and I was pretty pleased with the result.  I am not photogenic to put it mildly and to be honest, I don't like that pictures show that I am much bigger in life than I am in my head!  However, I want pictures of me.  I want them with my son and with my husband.  This is in large part because I miss my mom.  My mom destroyed so many pictures of herself and so there are relatively few, and those few are what I have to remind me what my mom looks like.  She died when I was young, and I find that now, after 20+ years, I have to look at pictures to remember.  So, even if I find a picture of myself terribly unflattering, I try to keep it.  Now, I do delete some digital pictures right after they are taken because, well, I do NOT want to be remembered like that.  But, I do want to be remembered.  I want my son to remember that I was with him, that I LOVED being with him.  I want him to see that I loved his father and his father loved me.

Pictures were taken by Lauren at CheapShots Photography.  Thank you Lauren!