Quote of the Moment

This is what the past is for! Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see." Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Bully at the Playground

Today we went to one of our favorite parks to play outside.  The weather has been beautiful so we thought it would be a perfect day, and apparently lots of other people had the same idea.  We had been there for a while we let Samuel go a ways away from us...we could always see him, we just didn't stand by him.  This other child came up to him and we noticed that they both appeared to be wanting to play in the same area.  We just kind of stayed back to let them work it out but I did start to approach and the other child started hitting Samuel in the head.  I started to yell for him to stop as I quickened my pace, but the other child didn't even pause and he started to pull at Samuel really hard around the stomach/waist.  This concerned me because of all of the surgeries Samuel has had his core muscles are a bit weaker and he was trying to climb the ladder.  I pulled the child away from Samuel and told him he couldn't do that, and at that point that child's mother came over and started telling him that was the last of it, he had already been told that he couldn't do things like that and they would now be going home.  At that point Samuel just started to sob.  He was terrified and just wanted his daddy to hold him for a bit. 

I'm torn on if I did the right thing.  Should I have gone over there immediately when I saw that the boys were both wanting to do the same thing?  Typically Samuel can work these things out and he gets along with other children so well. 
After it was all over we talked about what happened.  I explained to Samuel that if someone starts to hit, push, pull him then he needs to scream.  We talked about yelling "Go away" or "Help" and we practiced.  Samuel is typically very quiet so we had David walk a ways away from us and then practiced yelling loud enough for a grown up to hear.  Samuel really liked the practicing.  I did tell Samuel that if yelling doesn't get the person to stop that he can hit them....I don't want to encourage violence, but if he can't get away from a bully, I don't want him to not defend himself.  We did NOT practice hitting :)

So, what are your suggestions?

1 comment:

Aileen and Aaron Trost said...

Sounds to me like you're a terrific parent! I have no suggestions. I think you did the right thing. I usually try and stand back to observe my children. I've told my children to walk away or find something new to do if another child is persistent about playing with the same thing as them but that's a terrific idea for them to yell for help if someone's hurting them. I'll have to teach my children that. Keep up the good work :-)